I will no longer accept being called a liar. I will no longer accept being called names. I will no longer accept negativity into my life. I have had to cut ties with my parents due to this; however, as I reflect on this I am reminded of the following
- My father walked in on my uncle attempting to molest my older sister
- My parents still sent me and my sister to the house of that person
- My sister was molested
- My mom bought socks and underwear for the man that molested my sister
- My mom told us that my grandpa bailed my uncle out of jail, when it was his mom
- My older sister used to play a game with me called “girlfriend/boyfriend”
- I attempted suicide
- I have been put down my entire life
- I have been accused about not talking about all of the facts
- I have been called a liar
- I have been the scapegoat of my family anytime something goes wrong
- I no longer feel mentally safe around my family
So, as I sit back and reflect on all of the above. Then I reflect on my own children; I would never be able to treat them that way. Even in anger. For example, this morning my oldest mouthed off to me. He was frustrated, and tired (I cannot fault him for this, everyone hates daylight savings time). I did not become angry. I said “Come here. Do I ever talk to you like that?’ his response “No” my response “Then why would you find it acceptable to talk to me like that” his response “I am sorry mom, I am just frustrated”.
I believe in open communication with my children, and I expect them to be comfortable with sharing all of their feelings with me.
So if there is one thing that can be said about my own childhood experience, it taught me what I did not want to be as a parent.