Edit: since this was posted I have found the peace I was searching for. I will not be sending this.
The time is coming where my bio mother has decided that no contact should end. She set a date of 06/17/2017. I believe it was a way to gain control back. Yet, I cannot find the urge to care. I believe it is better to respond rather than react. So, during a non-emotional state I wrote the following, please let me know what you think:
Thank you for contacting me.
First, I must ask if you are willing to build a relationship with me “just for the boys,”? If the answer is yes, then I will have to politely decline the offer. I want an trusting relationship with you, and trust has to be built before I let you and *** back into the lives of my children.
Second, I must ask if *** will be attending counseling as well. If the answer is no, then I am not interested. I believe we need to work as a family unit, and not individually.
Third, I must ask that during counseling are you going to view me as the 31-year-old I am or the 12-year-old trauma victim that I was. If the answer was that you are going to view me as the trauma victim of 12, I will have to decline. I am no longer that person.
If you see these boundaries, and agree to them, please feel free to contact lifeworks to set up an appointment for ***, yourself, and me for counseling on communication styles and boundaries. I get home from work around 4:45.
If you do not want to do these, I understand and wish you nothing but the best in this lifetime. It is a journey that is to be filled with love, not one filled with dismay.
Thank you as always to Jenn Bovee.
Light up the Darkness,