I was asked recently by a follower of this blog, and a member of The Evolving Lotus, a question that had I had been asked many therapy sessions ago. The question is simple: what do you gain from thinking so negatively about yourself? The answer seems to be more difficult to articulate. We gain nothing but self-loathing, low self-esteem, and sometimes more anxiety.
Being mindful is a good practice to follow, and this is meant literally. Mindfulness is not about forgetting that we are hurting; it is about not allowing being hurt to control our lives! Thoughts can come and go, just like clouds. So, let them come and go like clouds.
It is said to leave two doors in your mind open, one for letting thoughts in and the other for letting the thoughts out. For goodness sake, do not serve them tea! Easier said than done, this I know as a personal truth. It takes practice, and I will share with you my favorite practice.
When the thoughts of depression, anxiety, or looping are happening, sit back and close your eyes. Start to breathe in and out and allow yourself to feel your breath wherever it may be in that moment. Then let the thought come to you, acknowledge the thought, and then focus on something else (Duff, 2015). I know it sounds easy, but it is one of the more difficult techniques until you start practicing.
Show yourself compassion! You would not go to someone in the midst of a panic attack and be argumentative (or I hope not). You would show them love and kindness. Let love, kindness and compassion fill your life.
Thank you to Jenn Bovee.
Light up the Darkness,
Duff, R. (2015). Hardcore self help: F**k anxiety. North Charleston, SC: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform.